These Days...

I hate starting out a blog. I wanna make this blog sound interesting when you first read it but I suck at coming up with clever first couple sentences. No, seriously, you know how many times I've "selected all" and "deleted" the text I've written in this box. I've really been wanting to blog for a while now and now that I have the chance to, I don't know what to talk about. Oh! Never mind.

OK GOT IT! Lately life has been treating me well in some ways and bad in others. As I've mentioned before in my "balance" blog, life has to be balanced. When something good happens, something bad happens. It's unfortunate, but true. It's hard to just feel one way all the time. I can't always be happy because there is always something that I either miss, need, want, whatever. Or It's difficult to be sad all the time when I'm surrounded by people who can always make me smile and make day.

Speaking about wanting things, suddenly I'm starting to think a lot more about the things that I'm starting to want. Like, I really want to go to New York...right now! or I really want to direct a film, I want to sing on broadway, I want to have a really classy and traditional wedding, I don't want my dad to leave to iraq, I need to have better sleeping habits, I wish my dance technique wouldn't take long to develop, I want to travel the world, I want to perform at the Macy's Day Parade, I want to play in the rain....blah blah blah. There are so many things I want and I want to do it all now! I can't bare to wait any longer to wait for the "future". Living in the moment is fun, but what I really need right now it to accomplish something, or some how feel good about myself. Now that school is back in session there is no more time to relax and to chill out for a while because once I feel pretty chill, I realize that I have something that is due tomorrow.

Another thing, people say that in order for the world to be a better place we should put ourselves in the other persons shoes and feel the pain they feel and what not. But I know for a fact that the only way for this world to become a better place is if we start focusing on what we want. Care and respect yourself first before you care for others. I know that sounds wrong, but think about it. If I cared about what I wanted in the future and worked for nothing but that goal I will reach it, and I will only attract things that push me towards that goal. I'll admit, I never thought of this on my own. It's from a movie I watched called "The Secret" when you get the chance in life, watch it or read the book.

The last thing I want to share in this blog is that I might be developing a fear of growing up. It's sad just looking back to when I was younger and just realizing how much some one can change over periods of times. I don't know if I might be able to face the fact that I'm getting older and what were once memories that were in reach can totally become out of sight before I know it.

Wow, this blog is super long! Anyway, I'm thinking about hitting the hay because my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for reading my self centeredness blog. :)

Peace Out,
Niki Elle