These Days...

I hate starting out a blog. I wanna make this blog sound interesting when you first read it but I suck at coming up with clever first couple sentences. No, seriously, you know how many times I've "selected all" and "deleted" the text I've written in this box. I've really been wanting to blog for a while now and now that I have the chance to, I don't know what to talk about. Oh! Never mind.

OK GOT IT! Lately life has been treating me well in some ways and bad in others. As I've mentioned before in my "balance" blog, life has to be balanced. When something good happens, something bad happens. It's unfortunate, but true. It's hard to just feel one way all the time. I can't always be happy because there is always something that I either miss, need, want, whatever. Or It's difficult to be sad all the time when I'm surrounded by people who can always make me smile and make day.

Speaking about wanting things, suddenly I'm starting to think a lot more about the things that I'm starting to want. Like, I really want to go to New York...right now! or I really want to direct a film, I want to sing on broadway, I want to have a really classy and traditional wedding, I don't want my dad to leave to iraq, I need to have better sleeping habits, I wish my dance technique wouldn't take long to develop, I want to travel the world, I want to perform at the Macy's Day Parade, I want to play in the rain....blah blah blah. There are so many things I want and I want to do it all now! I can't bare to wait any longer to wait for the "future". Living in the moment is fun, but what I really need right now it to accomplish something, or some how feel good about myself. Now that school is back in session there is no more time to relax and to chill out for a while because once I feel pretty chill, I realize that I have something that is due tomorrow.

Another thing, people say that in order for the world to be a better place we should put ourselves in the other persons shoes and feel the pain they feel and what not. But I know for a fact that the only way for this world to become a better place is if we start focusing on what we want. Care and respect yourself first before you care for others. I know that sounds wrong, but think about it. If I cared about what I wanted in the future and worked for nothing but that goal I will reach it, and I will only attract things that push me towards that goal. I'll admit, I never thought of this on my own. It's from a movie I watched called "The Secret" when you get the chance in life, watch it or read the book.

The last thing I want to share in this blog is that I might be developing a fear of growing up. It's sad just looking back to when I was younger and just realizing how much some one can change over periods of times. I don't know if I might be able to face the fact that I'm getting older and what were once memories that were in reach can totally become out of sight before I know it.

Wow, this blog is super long! Anyway, I'm thinking about hitting the hay because my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for reading my self centeredness blog. :)

Peace Out,
Niki Elle

Ello!

So, I'm in the mood to blog today and let people know (well the people that actually read this thing) what I'm to. Let me start off by saying that since I've showed my family "the secret" life could not be any better (: and as a plus.. um my birthday is soon! seriously how much more fun can life get?? hahaha, i'm super glad that spring break is here. Well, it's been here for a week now but it's given me some time and some space from normal school life and live the "good" life i guess. but before i left school to go on spring break i was just one big fat mess. and yes i said fat. hahaha but now that i'm not doing the same old, same old routine it's been way more relaxing. although i'm starting to have early morning rehearsals everyday and then late night rehearsals on the weekend i've seriously been enjoying it. i guess you can say that i've been "milking" my spring break. There is a part of me though that wants to go back to school since i'm starting to get my life back together and feel a little happier with it (:

Spring Break,

*sorry niki cannot write a blog right now, shes having too much fun...maybe after spring break

PEACE to the MIDDLE EAST!

THANKS!

THANKS A LOT FOR RUINING THE MOMENT & DESTROYING MY "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT" BLOG!

A year ago,

was one of the happiest moments in my life! can't help but think that i'll soon be there again...even though things are different now i know that everything is still there. i think it's the one thing that bonded us together... that trip. Changed my life, i know that for sure. it always brings a tear to my eye thinking about how much fun i had and all the things i discovered about myself during this time. maybe i have something else to look forward too, you never know but i miss it all. same as mon. it was way more than a trip to me (and im not saying that to be dramatic) but it was dream come true(typical). sigh, i have a long way more till i can live life in permanent bliss...well at least almost perfect. at least i'll be closer to the things that make me happy

btw; i can cross out another thing from my bucket list (wear a head set mic). it was a mic that was hidden at the top of my head (:

peace,

niks