Wednesday, June 17, 2009
wow.
i never realized that i vented so much in the last post! bahahahaa, anyway, what i meant to say is that i'm gonna go with the flow. no more stressing out..it's summer!
Monday, June 15, 2009
I don't know.
I've come to realize that life is not consistent. Nice to me today but hate me tomorrow. I hate it. I'm so aggravated, confused, thankful, happy, awkward, irritated, and sad right now. How is that possible? IDK! But I am.
First, the one person that I talk to when I get into car to vent and talk about things that I can't really talk about naturally to other people isn't here. I miss my dad so much that it hurts every time I think about it. Yeah, it's 4 months but still. It sucks.
Second, I just can't stand it anymore. I don't get you. Actually, I think what scares me is that because I'm starting to really get to know you more and more it sucks. How can one handle? I'm trying so hard but it's just difficult keeping up. Too much, I hate the depressed, melancholy vibe that exists in you sometimes and I get so aggravated cause It's hard to figure you out. We have fun most of the times and I'm very proud of you and I wish that you could see how talented and amazing you really are. I wish that the positive out look that I have on life could be given to you. I try really hard to show and be a positive influence on you but if it's being ignored or just forgotten, forget it. I'm not gonna waste my energy anymore. Let me know when you start to realize how much you should be proud of yourself then I'll continue confiding in you but other than that...I just really don't know what to do anymore. It hurts, it really does. But it's ok, I'll be here for you whenever you need me but if you don't believe in yourself as much as I do, fine.
Bleh, sorry. Blogs=Venting.
Niki
First, the one person that I talk to when I get into car to vent and talk about things that I can't really talk about naturally to other people isn't here. I miss my dad so much that it hurts every time I think about it. Yeah, it's 4 months but still. It sucks.
Second, I just can't stand it anymore. I don't get you. Actually, I think what scares me is that because I'm starting to really get to know you more and more it sucks. How can one handle? I'm trying so hard but it's just difficult keeping up. Too much, I hate the depressed, melancholy vibe that exists in you sometimes and I get so aggravated cause It's hard to figure you out. We have fun most of the times and I'm very proud of you and I wish that you could see how talented and amazing you really are. I wish that the positive out look that I have on life could be given to you. I try really hard to show and be a positive influence on you but if it's being ignored or just forgotten, forget it. I'm not gonna waste my energy anymore. Let me know when you start to realize how much you should be proud of yourself then I'll continue confiding in you but other than that...I just really don't know what to do anymore. It hurts, it really does. But it's ok, I'll be here for you whenever you need me but if you don't believe in yourself as much as I do, fine.
Bleh, sorry. Blogs=Venting.
Niki
Monday, June 8, 2009
I give myself, very good advice...
...but I very seldom follow it.
Fancy running into me here, I haven't written, well typed a blog in a while! So, IM BACK! With probably a bagillion things to talk about. I was looking back at the last time I posted a blog it was in April! WOW! Ok, so since then...
The "Once On This Island" experience was over. BOOOOOOO! It took me a while to get over but I did. It was the best show I was ever in being that I was only in that show and High School Musical at the time. Hahaha! Anyway, it was super fun! I bonded and closer to a bunch of people and I'm glad I dropped "Into The Woods" for it :-) BAHAHAHHAAHAAHA! Opps, I don't think I was suppose to say that. Oh well! I hope I get a copy of the DVD for this show soon cause I really want to watch it.
Then Spotlight came up. Spotlight...oh spotlight. I haven't been in a competition is AGES! and being apart of that one was SUUUPPPER FUUN! ALthough I got 5th place overall I got other awards so it don't matter! I would love to do it again! During that time I also learned to put on my own make-up! WOOP! OK, So i thought make-up used to be stupid but AGH! Why is it so much fun to put one?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!
After spotlight came our tech week of Alice In Wonderland. AH! I CAN'T BELIEVE TODAY WAS OUR LAST SHOW ): It was so sad. Not only was it the last show it was the last show I was going to do with Sydney! I know I just met her but I seem like if she were to stay longer we would have been really good friends. ): UGH!
Well, now that all the CRAZINESS is over... I can officially say that SUMMER has started! GOODBYE BEING A STUPID FRESHMAN, and HELLO SOPHOMORE year! I still don't know what school I'm going to next year but whatever I choose should be pretty fun! :) Bleh, this was such a vague blog but whatever! I'll be back since its the summer time!!!!! WOO!
PEAACCCCEEE!
Fancy running into me here, I haven't written, well typed a blog in a while! So, IM BACK! With probably a bagillion things to talk about. I was looking back at the last time I posted a blog it was in April! WOW! Ok, so since then...
The "Once On This Island" experience was over. BOOOOOOO! It took me a while to get over but I did. It was the best show I was ever in being that I was only in that show and High School Musical at the time. Hahaha! Anyway, it was super fun! I bonded and closer to a bunch of people and I'm glad I dropped "Into The Woods" for it :-) BAHAHAHHAAHAAHA! Opps, I don't think I was suppose to say that. Oh well! I hope I get a copy of the DVD for this show soon cause I really want to watch it.
Then Spotlight came up. Spotlight...oh spotlight. I haven't been in a competition is AGES! and being apart of that one was SUUUPPPER FUUN! ALthough I got 5th place overall I got other awards so it don't matter! I would love to do it again! During that time I also learned to put on my own make-up! WOOP! OK, So i thought make-up used to be stupid but AGH! Why is it so much fun to put one?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!
After spotlight came our tech week of Alice In Wonderland. AH! I CAN'T BELIEVE TODAY WAS OUR LAST SHOW ): It was so sad. Not only was it the last show it was the last show I was going to do with Sydney! I know I just met her but I seem like if she were to stay longer we would have been really good friends. ): UGH!
Well, now that all the CRAZINESS is over... I can officially say that SUMMER has started! GOODBYE BEING A STUPID FRESHMAN, and HELLO SOPHOMORE year! I still don't know what school I'm going to next year but whatever I choose should be pretty fun! :) Bleh, this was such a vague blog but whatever! I'll be back since its the summer time!!!!! WOO!
PEAACCCCEEE!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
These Days...
I hate starting out a blog. I wanna make this blog sound interesting when you first read it but I suck at coming up with clever first couple sentences. No, seriously, you know how many times I've "selected all" and "deleted" the text I've written in this box. I've really been wanting to blog for a while now and now that I have the chance to, I don't know what to talk about. Oh! Never mind.
OK GOT IT! Lately life has been treating me well in some ways and bad in others. As I've mentioned before in my "balance" blog, life has to be balanced. When something good happens, something bad happens. It's unfortunate, but true. It's hard to just feel one way all the time. I can't always be happy because there is always something that I either miss, need, want, whatever. Or It's difficult to be sad all the time when I'm surrounded by people who can always make me smile and make day.
Speaking about wanting things, suddenly I'm starting to think a lot more about the things that I'm starting to want. Like, I really want to go to New York...right now! or I really want to direct a film, I want to sing on broadway, I want to have a really classy and traditional wedding, I don't want my dad to leave to iraq, I need to have better sleeping habits, I wish my dance technique wouldn't take long to develop, I want to travel the world, I want to perform at the Macy's Day Parade, I want to play in the rain....blah blah blah. There are so many things I want and I want to do it all now! I can't bare to wait any longer to wait for the "future". Living in the moment is fun, but what I really need right now it to accomplish something, or some how feel good about myself. Now that school is back in session there is no more time to relax and to chill out for a while because once I feel pretty chill, I realize that I have something that is due tomorrow.
Another thing, people say that in order for the world to be a better place we should put ourselves in the other persons shoes and feel the pain they feel and what not. But I know for a fact that the only way for this world to become a better place is if we start focusing on what we want. Care and respect yourself first before you care for others. I know that sounds wrong, but think about it. If I cared about what I wanted in the future and worked for nothing but that goal I will reach it, and I will only attract things that push me towards that goal. I'll admit, I never thought of this on my own. It's from a movie I watched called "The Secret" when you get the chance in life, watch it or read the book.
The last thing I want to share in this blog is that I might be developing a fear of growing up. It's sad just looking back to when I was younger and just realizing how much some one can change over periods of times. I don't know if I might be able to face the fact that I'm getting older and what were once memories that were in reach can totally become out of sight before I know it.
Wow, this blog is super long! Anyway, I'm thinking about hitting the hay because my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for reading my self centeredness blog. :)
Peace Out,
Niki Elle
OK GOT IT! Lately life has been treating me well in some ways and bad in others. As I've mentioned before in my "balance" blog, life has to be balanced. When something good happens, something bad happens. It's unfortunate, but true. It's hard to just feel one way all the time. I can't always be happy because there is always something that I either miss, need, want, whatever. Or It's difficult to be sad all the time when I'm surrounded by people who can always make me smile and make day.
Speaking about wanting things, suddenly I'm starting to think a lot more about the things that I'm starting to want. Like, I really want to go to New York...right now! or I really want to direct a film, I want to sing on broadway, I want to have a really classy and traditional wedding, I don't want my dad to leave to iraq, I need to have better sleeping habits, I wish my dance technique wouldn't take long to develop, I want to travel the world, I want to perform at the Macy's Day Parade, I want to play in the rain....blah blah blah. There are so many things I want and I want to do it all now! I can't bare to wait any longer to wait for the "future". Living in the moment is fun, but what I really need right now it to accomplish something, or some how feel good about myself. Now that school is back in session there is no more time to relax and to chill out for a while because once I feel pretty chill, I realize that I have something that is due tomorrow.
Another thing, people say that in order for the world to be a better place we should put ourselves in the other persons shoes and feel the pain they feel and what not. But I know for a fact that the only way for this world to become a better place is if we start focusing on what we want. Care and respect yourself first before you care for others. I know that sounds wrong, but think about it. If I cared about what I wanted in the future and worked for nothing but that goal I will reach it, and I will only attract things that push me towards that goal. I'll admit, I never thought of this on my own. It's from a movie I watched called "The Secret" when you get the chance in life, watch it or read the book.
The last thing I want to share in this blog is that I might be developing a fear of growing up. It's sad just looking back to when I was younger and just realizing how much some one can change over periods of times. I don't know if I might be able to face the fact that I'm getting older and what were once memories that were in reach can totally become out of sight before I know it.
Wow, this blog is super long! Anyway, I'm thinking about hitting the hay because my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for reading my self centeredness blog. :)
Peace Out,
Niki Elle
Monday, March 30, 2009
Ello!
So, I'm in the mood to blog today and let people know (well the people that actually read this thing) what I'm to. Let me start off by saying that since I've showed my family "the secret" life could not be any better (: and as a plus.. um my birthday is soon! seriously how much more fun can life get?? hahaha, i'm super glad that spring break is here. Well, it's been here for a week now but it's given me some time and some space from normal school life and live the "good" life i guess. but before i left school to go on spring break i was just one big fat mess. and yes i said fat. hahaha but now that i'm not doing the same old, same old routine it's been way more relaxing. although i'm starting to have early morning rehearsals everyday and then late night rehearsals on the weekend i've seriously been enjoying it. i guess you can say that i've been "milking" my spring break. There is a part of me though that wants to go back to school since i'm starting to get my life back together and feel a little happier with it (:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
