P.M.S

Also known as Premenstrual Syndrome. For me, it stands for the days where I would like to yell “Please Mother, Stop!” or it could also stand for “Poor Me, SHIT!” Whatever it is, it’s never good. It’s not something anyone looks forward to. The person who is a victim of it and the person who is giving the P.M.S. It’s fricken sucks. But, hell, without it…life would be boring…then again without it, life would be quite pleasurable.

wow.

i never realized that i vented so much in the last post! bahahahaa, anyway, what i meant to say is that i'm gonna go with the flow. no more stressing out..it's summer!

I don't know.

I've come to realize that life is not consistent. Nice to me today but hate me tomorrow. I hate it. I'm so aggravated, confused, thankful, happy, awkward, irritated, and sad right now. How is that possible? IDK! But I am.

First, the one person that I talk to when I get into car to vent and talk about things that I can't really talk about naturally to other people isn't here. I miss my dad so much that it hurts every time I think about it. Yeah, it's 4 months but still. It sucks.

Second, I just can't stand it anymore. I don't get you. Actually, I think what scares me is that because I'm starting to really get to know you more and more it sucks. How can one handle? I'm trying so hard but it's just difficult keeping up. Too much, I hate the depressed, melancholy vibe that exists in you sometimes and I get so aggravated cause It's hard to figure you out. We have fun most of the times and I'm very proud of you and I wish that you could see how talented and amazing you really are. I wish that the positive out look that I have on life could be given to you. I try really hard to show and be a positive influence on you but if it's being ignored or just forgotten, forget it. I'm not gonna waste my energy anymore. Let me know when you start to realize how much you should be proud of yourself then I'll continue confiding in you but other than that...I just really don't know what to do anymore. It hurts, it really does. But it's ok, I'll be here for you whenever you need me but if you don't believe in yourself as much as I do, fine.

Bleh, sorry. Blogs=Venting.

Niki

I give myself, very good advice...

...but I very seldom follow it.

Fancy running into me here, I haven't written, well typed a blog in a while! So, IM BACK! With probably a bagillion things to talk about. I was looking back at the last time I posted a blog it was in April! WOW! Ok, so since then...

The "Once On This Island" experience was over. BOOOOOOO! It took me a while to get over but I did. It was the best show I was ever in being that I was only in that show and High School Musical at the time. Hahaha! Anyway, it was super fun! I bonded and closer to a bunch of people and I'm glad I dropped "Into The Woods" for it :-) BAHAHAHHAAHAAHA! Opps, I don't think I was suppose to say that. Oh well! I hope I get a copy of the DVD for this show soon cause I really want to watch it.

Then Spotlight came up. Spotlight...oh spotlight. I haven't been in a competition is AGES! and being apart of that one was SUUUPPPER FUUN! ALthough I got 5th place overall I got other awards so it don't matter! I would love to do it again! During that time I also learned to put on my own make-up! WOOP! OK, So i thought make-up used to be stupid but AGH! Why is it so much fun to put one?! BAHAHAHAHAHA!

After spotlight came our tech week of Alice In Wonderland. AH! I CAN'T BELIEVE TODAY WAS OUR LAST SHOW ): It was so sad. Not only was it the last show it was the last show I was going to do with Sydney! I know I just met her but I seem like if she were to stay longer we would have been really good friends. ): UGH!

Well, now that all the CRAZINESS is over... I can officially say that SUMMER has started! GOODBYE BEING A STUPID FRESHMAN, and HELLO SOPHOMORE year! I still don't know what school I'm going to next year but whatever I choose should be pretty fun! :) Bleh, this was such a vague blog but whatever! I'll be back since its the summer time!!!!! WOO!

PEAACCCCEEE!

These Days...

I hate starting out a blog. I wanna make this blog sound interesting when you first read it but I suck at coming up with clever first couple sentences. No, seriously, you know how many times I've "selected all" and "deleted" the text I've written in this box. I've really been wanting to blog for a while now and now that I have the chance to, I don't know what to talk about. Oh! Never mind.

OK GOT IT! Lately life has been treating me well in some ways and bad in others. As I've mentioned before in my "balance" blog, life has to be balanced. When something good happens, something bad happens. It's unfortunate, but true. It's hard to just feel one way all the time. I can't always be happy because there is always something that I either miss, need, want, whatever. Or It's difficult to be sad all the time when I'm surrounded by people who can always make me smile and make day.

Speaking about wanting things, suddenly I'm starting to think a lot more about the things that I'm starting to want. Like, I really want to go to New York...right now! or I really want to direct a film, I want to sing on broadway, I want to have a really classy and traditional wedding, I don't want my dad to leave to iraq, I need to have better sleeping habits, I wish my dance technique wouldn't take long to develop, I want to travel the world, I want to perform at the Macy's Day Parade, I want to play in the rain....blah blah blah. There are so many things I want and I want to do it all now! I can't bare to wait any longer to wait for the "future". Living in the moment is fun, but what I really need right now it to accomplish something, or some how feel good about myself. Now that school is back in session there is no more time to relax and to chill out for a while because once I feel pretty chill, I realize that I have something that is due tomorrow.

Another thing, people say that in order for the world to be a better place we should put ourselves in the other persons shoes and feel the pain they feel and what not. But I know for a fact that the only way for this world to become a better place is if we start focusing on what we want. Care and respect yourself first before you care for others. I know that sounds wrong, but think about it. If I cared about what I wanted in the future and worked for nothing but that goal I will reach it, and I will only attract things that push me towards that goal. I'll admit, I never thought of this on my own. It's from a movie I watched called "The Secret" when you get the chance in life, watch it or read the book.

The last thing I want to share in this blog is that I might be developing a fear of growing up. It's sad just looking back to when I was younger and just realizing how much some one can change over periods of times. I don't know if I might be able to face the fact that I'm getting older and what were once memories that were in reach can totally become out of sight before I know it.

Wow, this blog is super long! Anyway, I'm thinking about hitting the hay because my eyes are getting smaller and smaller. Thanks for reading my self centeredness blog. :)

Peace Out,
Niki Elle

Ello!

So, I'm in the mood to blog today and let people know (well the people that actually read this thing) what I'm to. Let me start off by saying that since I've showed my family "the secret" life could not be any better (: and as a plus.. um my birthday is soon! seriously how much more fun can life get?? hahaha, i'm super glad that spring break is here. Well, it's been here for a week now but it's given me some time and some space from normal school life and live the "good" life i guess. but before i left school to go on spring break i was just one big fat mess. and yes i said fat. hahaha but now that i'm not doing the same old, same old routine it's been way more relaxing. although i'm starting to have early morning rehearsals everyday and then late night rehearsals on the weekend i've seriously been enjoying it. i guess you can say that i've been "milking" my spring break. There is a part of me though that wants to go back to school since i'm starting to get my life back together and feel a little happier with it (:

Spring Break,

*sorry niki cannot write a blog right now, shes having too much fun...maybe after spring break

PEACE to the MIDDLE EAST!

THANKS!

THANKS A LOT FOR RUINING THE MOMENT & DESTROYING MY "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT" BLOG!

A year ago,

was one of the happiest moments in my life! can't help but think that i'll soon be there again...even though things are different now i know that everything is still there. i think it's the one thing that bonded us together... that trip. Changed my life, i know that for sure. it always brings a tear to my eye thinking about how much fun i had and all the things i discovered about myself during this time. maybe i have something else to look forward too, you never know but i miss it all. same as mon. it was way more than a trip to me (and im not saying that to be dramatic) but it was dream come true(typical). sigh, i have a long way more till i can live life in permanent bliss...well at least almost perfect. at least i'll be closer to the things that make me happy

btw; i can cross out another thing from my bucket list (wear a head set mic). it was a mic that was hidden at the top of my head (:

peace,

niks

All about "Discovering" Yourself

I have discovered so much more about myself these past months than I have ever thought! My last 2 blogs were on the depressing side, I know but this blog doesn't fall in that category. This blog is all about the reason why I made a blogger in the first place and that it is to document the changes that are meant reliving!

February is finally over and I couldn't be more excited! I've changed in so many ways that I wouldn't imagine. Some for the good and others I'm just not so sure about. But one things for sure, I've found a place for me in the future. This year I'm going to focus on my needs and what the future holds in store for me. A year ago I would have never seen myself where I am today. The friends and bonds that I'm making are simply amazing! I couldn't ask for more! Well, maybe if Victoria was just a little closer then will I say that I LOVE my life rather than hate it. Right now, I can say that I'm done with the competitions and the misery because I'm making this my year.

Anyway, on a more serious note... I CAN FINALLY CROSS SOMETHING OFF MY BUCKET LIST! I landed the lead role in "once on this island". I don't care if you don't know what that is...but it's awesome. I am the role of Ti Moune! No I am not talking about Lion King. Ah, doesn't matte half of you people reading probably don't appreciate that stuff anyway.

I totally feel that life is getting soo much better! Let me list the good stuff that happened in February:

-Landed the lead role!

-Sang at Brown Bags

-Had a "RAINBOW" dance class

-Watched 2 AWESOME MOVIES!

-iLife 09!

-Took awesome pictures

-Had a Virgin Denny Day with Briana

-Made an accomplishing "peace" commercial

-Had green, purple, and white skin LMAO

-Completed a 2 month project

-Danced like I was at a club

-Got a new PHONE!

& I think that's pretty much it... haha

P.S I MISS VICTORIA!

Peace, Im out!

It's all about believing,

Right, as the title says.. "it's all about believing". You know what I think of that..bull. This blog probably isn't gonna matter to me later on but who am I to know. If you read my last blog, I wasn't a very happy camper. I just don't know how anything is possible any more. I try so hard to try and make out the meaning of life when what I really should be doing is taking life one step at a time. I mean who cares what's gonna happen tomorrow if you don't know whats going to happen in the next hour. That's all it is. Today, I thought about moving. You know, like leaving this small rock called Hawaii to, what do you call it... "BIGGER AND BETTER" things. RIGHT... but I thought, why am I such in a rush to get out of here?! I really need to just start chilling out and instead of piling myself in loads of work to distract myself from all the other things in life that don't plan out right I should just RELAX! AH, whatever.... I'm seriously starting to loose my mind.. so i'm out.

Someday Soon...

I'm not sure if i've totally figured what I feel right now or what  I'm going through but what I'm feeling isn't normal. You know that feeling of emptiness. I can't quite make it out but my life is at the point where i've just stopped. If life was a race, i've stopped somewhere in the middle and just don't have the hope or faith to even believe that I can start moving again. I'm not depressed, I just know that things haven't been the same. Obviously there has been many changes in what's been going on lately but by now I would have thought that I'd be back to slowly pacing forward. But I'm not. It's hard to tell what I'm actually feeling but it doesn't feel very good. The choices I seem to be making with the way life has changed doesn't seem to be right at all. I feel as if though I'm taking 3 steps forward but 2 steps back. Maybe it'll go away but then again this could take more than just waiting until my life get back on track. But one things for sure,  I need to start reaching the state of normal soon...really soon.

Untitled

I can't title this blog because what we've been through theses past years can't be summed up in a title nor do I think I can sum it up in a blog either. It's hard to appreciate something until it's gone & I've never appreciated someone as much as I appreciate. We meet new people along the way but you're someone I don't think I'll ever forget. You are the meaning of what a "best friend" actually is. If you know me well enough, I don't like calling people "best friend". You were are way more than that more than a sister. I don't know what to call you but you're one of the most amazing people I've met in my entire lifetime. Almost every verb in the english dictionary I can say we've been through. We've laughed, smiled, cried, hated, loved, slapped, slept, "illusion" and so much more. I honestly don't know where and how I will survive in school or in anything in life without you here on the same island but I know that I can depend on you to be always support me and remember me just liked you did when you were here. Thank you for everything and this short tiny blog isn't even a tenth of how I feel about you ): I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH...

No Homo,

Niki Aduas**

It's Been A While!

Hello blogspot and all you follower's! It's been a while since I've updated this thing! Anyway, so many things have happened and changed since the last post. Obviously, it's a NEW year and Christmas is way long gone! Um, I got my phone stolen at a christmas social (so much for the season of giving), I haven't been to school for almost a month now, it's only a matter of time until Victoria is headed off to Italia, so BONJOUR ITALY, ALOHA HAWAII, and I recently found out that during the summer I will be attending "School Of Pop" In California :D 

So over the break I have experienced many ups and downs, here's a re-cap:

-Sleep over Victoria's House w/ Mon & Pua

-Went to Bucca Di Peppo

-Lost memory stick and found memory stick

-Went to a holiday social

-LOST MY CELL PHONE! 

-Went to a cast party at a house that should be in a magazine!

-Jasmin sleeps over

-Go to the beach with the family because Jess was home

-CHRISTMAS

-Mommy went after christmas shopping for me

-Had rehearsals

-Had a power outage

-Made a video about it

-NEW YEARS

-Sleepover

-Performed at Ige's

-Went to wrestling tournament

-Pool Party

-Had a meeting for e-cyber

-Had a phone interview

-Sleepover with Jas

-Went bowling

-Saw over 10 movies with Jasmin

-Jess's going away party

-Played a song on piano

-Went to another cast party that was SUPER AWESOME! 

-Sleepover at jas's house

-saw bride wars

-GO BACK TO SCHOOL! UGH!

Close, Closer, Closure

Eleven. Seventeen. Eleven, being the number of day's till christmas and seventeen being of the number of day's left in the year. It's amazing how fast everything went. As we close up the New Year I just want to say that It's been a great one. I don't think anything could have made it any better. There some things that didn't go my way but hey, it shouldn't matter now. A new leaf is about to turn & I really can't wait (: Life has taken me by so many surprises and I am grateful for every single one of them.

This time of the year, it's coming closer to the deadline to finish last year resolutions & the funny thing is, I don't remember a single one of them. ;D!! So, let talk about some of the ones I'm setting for myself this year: 

To be more "Legal" (if you know what I mean)

Focus on career goals

Become more "held together" 

Continue being a part of musicals

Accomplish some of the things on my Bucket List

All A's @ least once

Organization & Cleanliness 

Keep strong bonds with my family & friends

 

I think that's all for now. 

Anyway gonna wrap it up here so I can study for my exams tomorrow ,

Peace&Love<3 

Niki Elle 

What's on My Mind Today...

*DISCLAIMER:, if you find any errors it's because I'm on my iPod.

Today was a very interesting day... well let's start off with how I woke up. So my alarm goes off and the first thing I say is "it's raining!" which meant today was the day I get to wear my "outfit". Haha ok enough about my day; I just wanted to share that interesting morning with you considering all the previous mornings where I would just ignore my alarm and go back to sleep.

Today I am writing in my blog for a very important reason. I am here to let all you interested readers know what I want for Christmas so here It goes:

This Christmas DVD
Tv in my room (portible DVD player will be fine)
The Clique book series
Charms for my charm bracelet (gold)
Abercrombie and Ruehl gift Cards
Gold Juicy Coture Charm Bracelet *Christmas edition (thanks auntie)
Keyboard cover for MacBook
New iPod case
New hair (which I am getting tomorrow)
More sweat pants (:
Forever 21 gift card please
ITunes gift card
Bewitched season box set(;
New York ):
...more to come

Posted with LifeCast

Bucket List

Since the new year is just around the corner I was thinking that it was time to start planning change. No, not resolutions but change. So instead of doing what every other human being on the earth is doing, I am not going to make a list of resolutions that I probably won't follow. Instead, I decided to start on my "Bucket List". For those of you who do not know what that is, it's the same as the "things to do before I die" list. Doesn't bucket list sound like a shorter, simpler, and nicer why to list "goals" for yourself....yeah ok thats what I thought. So, this is what I came up with so far: 

Perform at the Thanksgiving Day Macy’s Parade in New York

Use a headset mic on stage

Play a lead role

Play Elphaba in Wicked

Play Belle in Beauty and The Beast

Watch Wicked

Play an Evil Character

Live In New York for at least a year

Meet Laura Bell Bundy

Perform on Broadway

Keep my weight at 110

Learn to do a backhand spring

Increase my jazz technique

Learn TAP

Learn to read music

Meet the Artist Program for MMS

See New York during Christmas

See snow

Graduate With Honors [Summa Cum Laude]

Stay close with my family, cousins and friends

Get a doggy

Star in a show/movie/commercial

Kiss in the rain

Kiss in the snow

Have a snow ball fight

Write a song

Learn to play an instrument fluently

Speak French fluently

Speak Ilocano fluently

See the Eifel Tower

Perform Internationally

Have a concert

Perform at award show

Get an award at an award show

Announce an award at an award show

Fall in love (true love)

Be successful 

Have a family (not at this age obviously)

Record a CD

Get a good job that I love and pays the bills

Have my "vision" come true

Send tickets to my teachers to come and watch me in a broadway play in NY

Go and graduate from college with flying colors (:

Never drift from any of my family members

Maintain good health and lifestyle

Endings...

I can't help but think that a week from now, one of the best things in my life is going to come to an end. Endless friendships, life long memories, and a whole lot of passion. I don't think I can ever remember a time when I put so much heart, trust, and faith into something and now that I'm seeing it come to an end, I don't think I could ever feel exactly that way again. You could go ahead and say that I'm being overly dramatic about it, but if you stood where I am standing it would be as difficult to you as it is to me. 

It was more than just a musical to me. I believe that we did more than just sing, dance, and act. We lived the story through each everyone of us. It was 2 months of aching feet and tired voices. But as much we say it was hard work I don't think I've ever had that much fun. We may not admit it but we all have a little piece of each character in us. What we never realized was that we brought the story of friendship to life. Before all of this happened we were all in different worlds and liked different things. Now, we are all practically inseparable. There were the occasional down sides but we always had each other to work through it together. To me, it wasn't just a musical... it was a passion. Every single day looking forward to doing what you love to do the most with the people you love doing it with. I can't help but think that there is just 1 more weekend to portray our story to an audience. Hopefully the bonds we have made along the way can withstand even the farthest distance, whether it's day's or miles. Like we've sung many times before... WERE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!

Bonjour,

Yo guess what! , my favorite season of the year is starting to slowly make it's way back in... WINTER! I'm always a little happier this time of the year. First comes Thanksgiving, the feast to start the family gatherings & then Christmas & then a new year. How exciting! I'm super excited. I just hope by this time next year I'll be excited for something else... NEW YORK *ahem*. Haha, I hope I really do get to go to New York again in winter with Mon and Bryson and maybe Shane. It's gonna be so exciting to actually feel the way Christmas is suppose to feel yah know? The twinkling lights, the cold frosty air, & white snow all together in one place. Watching broadways and overlooking the view from our Manhattan hotel. Mann! I hope the plans really come through. It would be the best cherry on top of a great year, since every thing seems to be falling into place. But I'll stop here before I jinx it. 

So CHOW<3>

Niki Elle 

Balance and Musicals

So again, I've been thinking and I've realized that life just has to be "balanced" in order for it to work and by balanced, I mean with all good must come bad. With everything sweet always comes something sour and with every beginning must come an end. I mean think about it in obvious terms. Eating candy will eventually lead to a cavity right...? Anyway, I just thought that would be a little useful for everyone to know.

Anywho, have you ever seen that video on YouTube, food court musical? I thought it was so cool! I mean how cool would that be if life was a musical? Well, maybe it's just me who think that it would we totally AWESOME if everyone started singing out of no where to the same song. Haha, I mean it was just a thought. Well, I guess thats all for now. I mean nothing interesting just wanted to update and let you know what's going  on (:

Peace, Love, & Musicals! 

Niki Elle